i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Randomize
