hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
