So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
