You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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