it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
