Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
