Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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