I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize