so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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