Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
