It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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