it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
