He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
