Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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