She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
