I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Randomize
