i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize