sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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