I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm always down for nudity.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
