Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
