i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
