Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
