It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
