Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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