So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize