Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

(507): View more from Minnesota

she is a standing ovation.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.

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(248): View more from Michigan

today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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(614): View more from Ohio

It's never too late to be topless.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO

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(516): View more from New York

Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT

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(337): View more from Louisiana

You're moving up the public shitting ladder

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