I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize