are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize