You really coming over, don't trick.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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