i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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