she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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