You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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