you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
