So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
