i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize