Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
