im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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