Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
