Yo dont text me then not text me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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