Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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