I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Fuck appropriateness.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
