i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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