so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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