sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
