That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
