she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
