Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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