I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we made out on top of his cat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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