On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
