Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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