I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
