Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
