Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
