Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
