i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize