Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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