addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
