Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
wrigley field is MILF paradise
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
