That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
