I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
