Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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