ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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