i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
