Your tits are I can't wait for
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
