For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize