im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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