it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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