if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
