I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
