So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
